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A Step by Step Guide to Problem Solving
This article was published on Monday, July 26th, 2010...
Rabu, 18 Julai 2012
Six Options for Building Healthy Self Esteem
Six Options for Building Healthy Self EsteemThis article was published on Wednesday, July 28th, 2010...
How to Communicate Assertively in Your Relationship
How to Communicate Assertively in Your RelationshipThis article was published on Wednesday, August 4th, 2010
Couples when they get married usually believe that they are on an equal footing and that marriage or their decision to live together gives them the permission to express their feelings and wants with an expectation that they will be respected, to state their views and opinions with an understanding that they will be listened to, and to say “no” openly without feeling guilty.
This does happen in many partnerships but there is no guarantee that it will in all, for sooner or later many couples will feel the discomfort of an imbalance in their relationship. This disparity will become noticeable when for instance one partner...
Solution-Focused Communication Skills Training
Solution-Focused Communication Skills Training
This article was published on Thursday, August 12th, 2010
Communication is the primary activity from which to build a healthy, enjoyable, and fulfilling intimate relationship. Most problems in relationships either develop from or are maintained through either a lack of communication or poor communication.
Because of this, relational issues can really only be resolved effectively through the use of appropriate communication skills. Interestingly, while couples who have open lines of communication usually find support in each other during the more challenging times of their relationship, most couples tend to communicate less when they are having problems in their relationship (Long & Young, 2007).
It is therefore important...
Isnin, 9 Julai 2012
Happiness and Positive Psychology
Happiness and Positive PsychologyThis article was published on Thursday, September 8th, 2011
Positive Psychology’s primary focus is on what people do right to obtain and maintain optimum happiness (Compton, 2005), by striving to understand and help people develop qualities that lead to greater personal fulfilment. The premise of positive psychology is to promote factors that allow individuals to thrive and flourish by encouraging a change of focus in psychology from a preoccupation with repairing the worst things to a greater emphasis on discovering and building upon positive qualitie...
Counsellors vs Workplace Harassment
Counsellors vs Workplace Harassment
This article was published on Thursday, July 28th, 2011
To effectively counsel a client who has been the target of workplace harassment it is helpful to have an understanding of relevant legislation. The following is an extract from the Queensland Government Department of Employment and Industrial Relations (it is recommended that counsellors from other states and territories check their relevant legislation).
The QLD Dept of Employment and Industrial Relations, defines workplace harassment as follows:
“Where a person is subjected to behaviour, other than sexual harassment that:
is repeated, unwelcome and unsolicited
the person considers the behaviour to be offensive, intimidating, humiliating or threatening
a...
Responding to Suicide Risk
Responding to Suicide Risk
This article was published on Wednesday, July 13th, 2011
Suicide is a serious health problem. The World Health Organisation estimates that one suicide attempt occurs every three seconds and one completed suicide occurs approximately every 40 seconds resulting in almost one million people dying from suicide each year; a “global” mortality rate of 16 per 100,000 (WHO, 2000, 2010).
In the last 45 years suicide rates have increased by 60% worldwide. Each day, approximately 210 Australians attempt to end their life and each year over 2500 will commit suicide. Suicide in Australia kills 8.5 times more people than homicides and 1.5 times more than motor vehicle accidents. Consequently, reducing suicide...
Behaviour and Solution Focused Couple Therapy
Behaviour and Solution Focused Couple Therapy
This article was published on Friday, July 15th, 2011
The practice of couple therapy has been encouraged to incorporate a more scientific model of practice and the use of research to inform the style of therapy most appropriate to use (Whiting & Crane, 2003). As a result, the discipline of couple and family counselling is moving to an evidence based focus. A number of theoretical frameworks have attempted to conceptualise dyadic relationships. Some of these theories have become foundations for the interventions that have become common in couple’s therapy today. Some of the models and theories include the strategic model, emotion focused therapy, solution focused therapy, behaviour theory and attachment theory.
In this...
Sudden Unemployment – Reactions and Emotions
Sudden Unemployment – Reactions and Emotions This article was published on Thursday, October 15th, 2009Unfortunately ‘organisational restructuring’ and ‘downsizing’ are common events in today’s workplace. For those individuals who suddenly lose their job, financial pressures can be overwhelming. Most support individuals receive focus on supporting the individual financially. However even under the best conditions where someone has ample savings and decent job prospects, suddenly losing a job is an emotional ride.
The emotional stress which individuals and their families experience is the least thought about effect of unemployment. For many people work is a central component to their identity. When their employment status changes, so too can their self identity. This together...
Career Counselling – A Field of Counselling Specialisation
Career Counselling – A Field of Counselling Specialisation
This article was published on Thursday, October 15th, 2009
If you are travelling the counsellor training road somewhere between Units 1 and 22, your primary goal right now is probably just to see those C’s filling up your assessment sheet. But what might you be doing once you have your Diploma? You may want to do further study – perhaps take on an advanced study major or even go on to university. Or maybe specialising hasn’t even crossed your mind but it is certainly something worth considering.
Specialisation comes in many forms, such as developing expertise in a favourite technique, working with a particular client group, or helping people with particular issues...
Domestic Violence – Understanding the Situation
Domestic Violence – Understanding the Situation
This article was published on Thursday, October 15th, 2009
Around the world at least one woman in every three has been beaten, abused or coerced into sex during her lifetime. Most often the abuser is a member of her own family. The prevalence of domestic violence is difficult to determine for several reasons: it often goes unreported, and there is some ambiguity about what should be included in the definition of domestic violence.
The Australian Bureau of Statistics estimates that only 31% of victims of domestic violence and 20% of female victims of sexual assault report the incidence to the police. Living in a domestically violent household is not easy. Some believe that leaving a domestically violent household is even more...
Symptoms, Causes and Effects of Loneliness
Symptoms, Causes and Effects of Lonelines
This article was published on Monday, July 9th, 2012
According to Murphy and Kupschik (1992), loneliness is defined as a state in which a person describes experiencing an overwhelming sense of inner emptiness and social isolation. It is, therefore, an emotional state. Loneliness is more than a person feeling that they want to be able to connect on a social level with others – but rather it is a perceived sense of disconnection, rejection and alienation.
The lonely client may find it difficult or even impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact. Lonely clients often experience a subjective sense of inner emptiness combined with feelings of separation and/ or isolation from the world.
Sometimes people feel lonely...
Suicide: Statistics, Characteristics and Myths
Suicide: Statistics, Characteristics and Myths
This article was published on Thursday, June 14th, 2012
Psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud called suicide “murder turned around 180 degrees”, or more wryly, “a very poor response to a very bad day”. Also called “self-murder” or “self-killing”, suicide is the act of deliberately or intentionally taking one’s own life. It is an attempt to solve a problem of intense emotional pain with impaired problem-solving skills (Kalafat, J. & Underwood, M., n.d.).
Suicidal behaviour is any deliberate action that has potentially life-threatening consequences, such as taking a drug overdose or deliberately crashing a car (Dyer, 2006). Attempted suicide is a potentially self-injurious act committed...
Khamis, 5 Julai 2012
Building Effective Client Responses
Building Effective Client Responses
June 19th, 2012 by Keith Abrahams Dip.HG.P
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As the therapy progress and trust (often called rapport)
builds, the client should be helped to move into positive ways of
responding; either to depression, anxiety, fear, anger, phobias or the
full gamut of emotional distress which is so often part of the human
condition.
In this way the therapist should seek to work in therapeutic alliance
with the client to help them achieve a number of key things:
Re-enforcement - helping the client to focus on their gifts
strengthens and talents. This is akin to the positive psychology
(focused on building on the best in people). It s from this place that
clients can stand to see and value their capacity for positive...
Ahad, 10 Jun 2012
The Hospital Experience - Control versus letting go
The Hospital Experience - Control versus letting go
March 14th, 2012 by Michele Joffe Dip Couns. MBACP
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There is nothing like requiring hospital intervention and a
stay overnight to really awaken our awareness about the amount of
control that we really have. There is, I believe a fine balance between
controlling and letting go of the outcome of our care - be it mental or
physical health.
It is evident how much control we give to doctors who play an almost
Godly role in the process. Without questioning or understanding fully
what is required from us, we accept their diagnosis and follow their
recommendations, however far fetched they might seem. From the moment
we are admitted into their care, we feel safe,...
Empathy is not Sympathy
Empathy is not Sympathy
March 14th, 2012 by Michele Joffe Dip Couns. MBACP
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As a Therapist when confronted with a situation where empathy
is needed it is important to be aware of how we use empathy, which can
at times be confused with sympathy. In actual fact, the definition of
empathy is 'Gaining a clear sense of how the client sees the world and
their experience in it'. The core condition of empathy is used in
Person Centred Practice and although this sounds simplistic , it is in
fact one of the most difficult practices to incorporate into a
therapeutic session. This is simply because the therapist has to use
themselves to facilitate the process with the client. The responses
from the therapist have...
Men and isolation
Men and isolation
March 27th, 2012 by Patrick McCurry MBACP, UKCP Reg
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A common issue for men entering therapy is a sense of isolation – from other people but also from their deeper selves.
The issue they come to therapy for may be something different, such
as depression, anxiety, anger issues or relationship problems. But
usually underlying these symptoms is a feeling of loneliness.
This male isolation is something that many women are unaware of.
Women are (usually) brought up to be in relationship with others. How
much of many women’s relatedness is innate and how much conditioned is
debatable – it’s probably a mix of the two.
But the reality for many men is that, when a crisis occurs, they find
themselves without support. The...
Whats is behind your mask?
Whats is behind your mask?
March 28th, 2012 by Graeme Orr MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg. Ind. Counsellor
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...
Unemployment Stress
Unemployment Stress
March 22nd, 2012 by Christine Elvin MBACP Coun's Dip
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You are not alone if you are suffering from unemployment
stress, signing on at a job centre and applying for job after job can
have a huge effect on your mental health.
The media do not help with unemployment issues as they seem to put
unemployed people in the same bracket. Yes of course there are some
people who are happy with their situation and have no intention of
changing it, but for others it can be a depressing place to be.
Money worries can be demoralising and your self esteem will suffer if
you allow it to get you down. The job applications can be daunting and
time consuming for what seems like a waste of time, energy and effort
when you don’t...
What is Counselling?
What is Counselling?
March 20th, 2012 by Janet Greenwood UKRCP MBACP Accred Senior Counsellor/Supervisor
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The nature and purpose of counselling is to provide a
non-judgemental, confidential, pressure free space in which people can
freely explore their thoughts and feelings. Every individual has an actualising tendency, which gives them the capacity to develop and reach their full potential.Sometimes
in our lives we lose sight of our direction and experience inner unrest
or we may experience something traumatic that rocks our foundations. Counselling can provide the right facilitative climate and framework for people to safely visit their own turmoil. Counselling operates
through conversation and discussion, it focusses...
What is Empathy?
What is Empathy?
March 22nd, 2012 by Gerard Della Marta MBACP qualified counsellor
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Empathy has been described in different ways: walking in
another's shoes, entering into another person's frame of reference or
having the ability to experience life as the other person does by
entering the person's world of thoughts, feelings, emotions and
meanings.In counselling, empathy is an expression of the regard
and respect the counsellor holds for the client whose experiences maybe
quite different from that of the counsellor.The client needs to
feel "held", understood as well as respected. To hold a client
therapeutically means the counsellor is capable to accept and support
the client through any issues, concerns, problems she/he can b...
Counselling: WHO ARE YOU?
Counselling: WHO ARE YOU?
March 28th, 2012 by Joanna Warwick: MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg Ind, Adv Dip, Couples Cert
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Often the fears that can arise when thinking about going to see a counsellor is about *who are they*what will they be like*will they tell me what to do*will they judge meWhat
is hard to understand that a good relationship in counselling is based
on the counsellor being many things to you, many people and exactly what
you need at that moment.The counsellor is a person and has a
life of their own and thoughts of their own, but they are trained to put
themselves to one side and be truly accepting of you as a person and
offer you;* Unconditional Positive Regard* Empathy* Congruence* A safe confidential space
And we are bound...
Ten Steps to Better Sleep
Ten Steps to Better Sleep
April 2nd, 2012 by David Seddon MA (Couns), BA (Philosophy), MBACP - Individuals and Couples
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“Sleeplessness is a desert without vegetation or inhabitants.” Jessamyn West
Many of the clients who come to me with a variety of issues also
suffer from poor sleep. I therefore nearly always ask new clients how
their sleep is in the very first session that we have together. If
their sleep is poor, then even if they wish to outline a large range of
worrying issues, at some point near the start of therapy, I ask them if
we can spend the last 5 or 10 minutes of a session looking at that. It
is often good to send them off with something practical that will allow
them to go home on a positive...
Men and therapy
Men and therapy
April 2nd, 2012 by Graeme Orr MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg. Ind. Counsellor
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Men are much more reluctant than women to look for help for
their problems. Studies have shown that today’s man is more likely to be
suffering from anxiety, depression, alcohol or drug abuse yet the
‘stiff upper lip’ culture continues to apply. Is it because men see
counselling as a female activity, is it because most counsellors are
women, is it perhaps because it is a sign of weakness to admit to a flaw
or perhaps there is some other gender specific reason.
It would be wrong to say that men never seek help, but often they
leave it till the last moment, till the situation is in crisis. They may
end up with a broken marriage or a serious...
Lengthening your fuse. A simple guide to anger management
Lengthening your fuse. A simple guide to anger management
April 2nd, 2012 by Nick McCubbin MBACP MBPsS
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“Anyone can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with
the right person at the right time, and for the right purpose and in
the right way - that is not within everyone's power and that is not
easy.” - AristotleAristotle presents us with a difficult
challenge in is quote above. Of course, we all become angry at one time
or another, indeed anger is a part of being human and at times is an
appropriate and functional response. However, there can be times when
our tempers get the better of us, when our anger is ignited too quickly
and our explosions can cause damage that we later regre...
How do I know if your the right counsellor for me?
How do I know if your the right counsellor for me?
April 2nd, 2012 by Beverley Hynes -BACP Accredited Counsellor UKRCP
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Counsellors are plentiful but how do you choose one that's
right for you. Well there's all the information on The Counselling
Directory that lists the counsellors Theoretical orientation/s. In
other words what methods they will use to help you. You can also decide
if you want your counsellor to be accredited or not. This is where the
counsellor has had to submit written work and proof that they reach a
minimum criteria and standard set by a number of the professional
bodies.Then there is the counsellors experience to consider. How
long have they been working in this field? Do they have any specialist
knowledge...
Dealing with your inner critic
Dealing with your inner critic
April 3rd, 2012 by Patrick McCurry MBACP, UKCP Reg
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We all have an ‘inner critic’ – the part of us that tells us
we’re not good enough. In many people it can be a fierce, even bullying,
voice.
It’s the voice that says:
‘Why did you make that mistake – you always get things wrong!’
‘Of course he’s not interested in you – you’ve put on too much weight.’
‘Why even bother applying for that job, they’ll be looking for someone much more interesting than you.’
When we’re not aware of this part of ourselves the constant
self-criticism takes place unconsciously and we can end up feeling
depressed and lacking energy without knowing why.
But once we have recognized our inner critic we have...
Mind Yourself
Mind Yourself
April 3rd, 2012 by Christina Holland, MBACP (Accred) - Sapphire Counselling
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Ever wondered why you do the things you do? Have you ever
thought that perhaps some reactions have been over-the-top, but it felt
like you had no control over how you behaved?
The latest developments in understanding how the mind works are being
revealed by huge advances in neuroscientific research and are exciting
and encouraging. In learning how the brain functions we can discover
more about our reactions, and find different ways to respond in
difficult situations that leave us feeling much better and more in
control.
Simply put, our brains have 3 distinct areas with specific functions.
The brain stem, or the reptilian brain,...
Strategic Counselling
Useful Articles » Strategic Counselling
Strategic Counselling
April 11th, 2012 by Keith Abrahams Dip.HG.P
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A therapist working from a strategic counselling perspective,
like that of the Human Givens approach, will seek to help their client
to quickly deal with their problems, identify solutions, set and agree
therapy goals and design interventions to facilitate fast, effective
change, that suit the client and meet their needs.
The therapist will help the client became aware, and begin to engage
all of the clients resources in the interventions. The client may be
helped to develop and acquire new resources, but more often than not,
the client simply needs to recognise and engage their already existing,
perhaps...
21 ways to lift your mood
21 ways to lift your mood
April 12th, 2012 by Rachel Shattock Dawson BA (Hons), MA, MBACP
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Here’s a few of my favourite ways to beat the blues. Pick the ones that chime with you:
Phone a friend – catch up and have a gossip. Or better still
arrange to meet. Spending time with good friends is very good for you.
Just dance! In the kitchen, in your bedroom…wherever. Put on some music and move to the rhythm.
Reach out and touch someone – a hug or a held hand is calming and comforting.
Do a favour – helping someone else, or supporting a good cause makes you feel good too.
Eat (a little) chocolate – the N-acyclethanoloamines in chocolate stimulate the brain to release endorphins.
Try therapy – increased self-awareness and...
What is the difference between Jealousy and Envy?
What is the difference between Jealousy and Envy?
April 19th, 2012 by ANDREA HARRN MA MBACP (Accred) UKRCP, UKRF, DCH
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Jealousy and envy are quite often the subject of a therapy
room and can cause untold pain and damage to relationships between
people. The terms are often used interchangeably but there are
differences between them.
The first difference to be aware of is that envy involves two people. One person being envious of another. Jealousy is about more than two people and involves the preservation of special friendships because of the involvement of others.
It is possible to experience both jealousy and envy at the same time.
For example you could be jealous of the attention your boyfriend is
getting from a female who you...
Why won't your therapist talk more about themselves?
Why won't your therapist talk more about themselves?
April 20th, 2012 by Patrick McCurry MBACP, UKCP Reg
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It’s become a cliché – you ask your therapist a question and they reply with another question.
For many new clients the lack of self-disclosure by the therapist can
be unsettling, as the relationship can feel very one way. The therapist
gets to know the most personal details of the client’s life, while the
client knows very little about the therapist’s.
While the lack of self-disclosure may feel frustrating, at times, for the client, there are several reasons for it.
These include:
The therapist’s issues can dominate: the therapy is for
the benefit of the client not the therapist, so a therapist talking a
lot about their own...
Ways to Find Peace in Our Hectic Lives
Ways to Find Peace in Our Hectic Lives
April 23rd, 2012 by David Seddon MA (Couns), BA (Philosophy), MBACP - Individuals and Couples
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Sometimes everyone feels like they could do with more peace.
Our world is increasingly full of excitement but peace is a much rarer
commodity. It often starts and follows from what we feel and so I’ve put
together a few ideas to about how we might find it:
1. Reduce Expectations
Shakespeare said that “expectation was the root of all heartache“ and there is much in what Dennis Wholey said – “expecting
the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little
like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a
vegetarian.” If we expect others to behave in a certain way and do
certain...
Counselling and the Unsuccessful Dieter - How Dieting Can Help You To Regain Control of Your Eating
Counselling and the Unsuccessful Dieter - How Dieting Can Help You To Regain Control of Your Eating
April 24th, 2012 by Annie Newbury
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I guess that we all know people who have lost weight with a
particular diet club or method only to have all the weight slowly creep
back on again. “I don’t understand it” they say,” I lost so much but it
all comes piling back, why don’t my diets work?” Sounds familiar? Most
diets are based on strict rules, they have ‘points’ ‘bars’ ‘shakes’ and
‘sins’. Food is restricted, choices are few, rules must be followed and
calorific intake is usually very low so if the diet is followed it’s
not surprising that weight is lost....
Can Our Lives Find Meaning in the Modern World?
Can Our Lives Find Meaning in the Modern World?
May 3rd, 2012 by David Seddon MA (Couns), BA (Philosophy), MBACP - Individuals and Couples
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“Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for.” Viktor Frankl
We are meaning seeking creatures that cannot truly be at peace unless
we have something we consider as significant in our lives – something
that gives us purpose and a sense of fulfilment. Finding a meaning to
life is perhaps the ultimate question for any of us. One of the things
that often happens in therapy is that clients begin to search for and
find meaning. There is little in the therapy room that I enjoy more
than helping them to find (or re-find) it – simply because I view...
7 secrets of good relationships
7 secrets of good relationships
April 24th, 2012 by Rachel Shattock Dawson BA (Hons), MA, MBACP
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1. Communication
This is the biggest ‘secret’: Keep talking and keep listening. When
couples stop talking to each other the relationship is all but over.
It’s good if you can share thoughts and feelings honestly, and know that
criticising, shouting or nagging damages self-esteem and ultimately the
relationship. Good communicators are better at resolving conflict and
are able to apologise when necessary.
2. SupportGood
couples are like a team, joined at the hip and stronger facing the
world together. You’ll both have career, money, life and death lows in
your lifetime – be there for the downs and you’ll still be there
together to share...
Parenting in the Teen Zone - Helping Young People Through Exams
Parenting in the Teen Zone - Helping Young People Through Exams
April 29th, 2012 by Katie Leatham M.Phil, MBACP Accredited
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Tearful one minute furious the next. Teenagers are changeable
at the best of times, but at this time of year levels of emotions can
really peak due to the pressure of exams. Even though assessments and
exams are often spread through the year, for the majority of young
people this is the time when the focus is really on them to achieve. Not
only that, they have to make decisions about what they will do next.
They need to make A -level choices and might be leaving their school to
go to a new institution in September. Older teens are planning the
transition to work or university and leaving home. For many who are...
The links between sleep and depression
The links between sleep and depression
May 3rd, 2012 by David Waters MA, MBACP Accredited UKRCP
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Ever found yourself counting sheep in the middle of night
while watching the interminable second hand skulk around the face of
your alarm clock? It’s not only frustrating, but it’s can be stressful
as well as exhausting. About 30 per cent of us report having
difficulties with our sleep according to latest research.
We might be waking up too early, have trouble getting to sleep in the
first place or - frustratingly - find ourselves wide-awake in the
middle of the night for no obvious reason at all. For those of us who
suffer from depression and anxiety these symptoms are usually acute and
felt as particularly troublin...
Are you familiar with SMART goals?
Are you familiar with SMART goals?
May 3rd, 2012 by Gerard Della Marta MBACP qualified counsellor
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...
Counselling. Helping you to take control.
Counselling. Helping you to take control.
May 5th, 2012 by Craig Draper Diploma in Counselling (MBACP)
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Counselling is not like a drug, it will not simply take your problems away, it is not a magic wand.Counselling
is an opportunity to be really heard and understood. It enables you to
gain a greater understanding of issues/problems your experiencing.
Enabling you to take control of your lif...
Can Counselling Support the Resilience of Children and Young People to the Impact of Domestic Violen
Can Counselling Support the Resilience of Children and Young People to the Impact of Domestic Violen
May 7th, 2012
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Introduction
Question: Can counselling support the resilience of vulnerable
children and young people to the impact of adverse events, such as
domestic violence and abuse, early in their lives?In our society
we recognise that there are many children who are exposed to adverse
factors such as experiencing or witnessing domestic violence and abuse.
This may impact on their ability to reach their full potential in life,
or render them so scarred that they later become incapable of
functioning as adults, without additional support. Yet some children,
whom we refer to as resilient, appear to overcome difficulties
experienced...
Beating Addiction – The Human Givens way
Beating Addiction – The Human Givens way
May 8th, 2012 by Keith Abrahams Dip.HG.P
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Paraphrased, substance dependence [1] is defined by the DSM as fulfillment of any three of the following:
Preoccupation with the substance – obtaining it, using it and recovering from it
Unintentional over use – repeatedly taking more than was intended
Tolerance – increasing amounts are needed for the same effect
Withdrawal – certain levels are needed to function normally
Relief substance use – to counteract withdrawal
Persistent desire to control the abuse – repeated quitting relapse
Impaired performance - in social and work situations
Abandoning important events – social, work or recreational
Continued use of the substance despite health...
The Power and Protection of our Intuition
The Power and Protection of our Intuition
May 9th, 2012 by Richard Gosling Assoc. UKAHPP
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Recently I was given cause to consider our intuition and how
we can often ignore it even though it is our truest, wisest and most
loyal friend. A close friend relayed to me the distressing
experiences she had after inviting a colleague to stay in her home
whilst the man was attending a seminar, he had told her that the only
available accommodation he had been offered was to sleep on somebody’s
floor. She felt he deserved better and offered him her son’s bedroom. It
resulted in a trail of destruction to her home and possessions followed
by a litany of ingratitude and denial....
Infidelity – The Triangle of Betrayal: Will You still Love me tomorrow? (Part 1)
Infidelity – The Triangle of Betrayal: Will You still Love me tomorrow? (Part 1)
May 9th, 2012 by Claudia Anderson PG Dipl Psych, MBACP Qualified Careers Counsellor
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Since the passage of time, men and women have been having
affairs. The reasons are multi-layered and often intertwined, from
sexual boredom and frustration with a partner to a person sabotaging
relationships based on unresolved issues from the past within another
relationship.
The issues generated around infidelity are complex. In some cases a
therapist identifies, the internal reasons, such as the effects of
pregnancy, child development, menopause, addiction, illness etc. but
there are also external causes such as loss of employment, death of a
loved one, or financial...
Are you compelled to repeat behaviour you’d rather ditch?
Are you compelled to repeat behaviour you’d rather ditch?
May 10th, 2012 by Tina Radziszewicz BSc (Hons), MA, UKCP Registered Psychotherapist
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If so, you’re not alone! From dating ‘bad boys’ or ‘psycho
women’ repeatedly despite vows of “never again” after the misery they
cause, to making yet another friend who proceeds to boss you around, or
finding yourself in a job where you feel undervalued again, many of us seem unable to stop ourselves repeating experiences that hurt us.
Why should this be?
Sigmund Freud recognised this common human phenomenon, which he
called the Repetition Compulsion. Freud believed that we re-enact old,
painful traumas or relationships, the nature of which we’ve usually
forgotten, in the present in an attempt...
MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL… Or how to survive the influences of your narcissistic mother
MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL… Or how to survive the influences of your narcissistic mother
May 11th, 2012 by Carmen Von Haenisch BA (Hons) Counselling , MBACP (Accred), Supervisor
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...
Betrayal - the death of a relationship?
Betrayal - the death of a relationship?
May 14th, 2012 by Graeme Orr MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg. Ind. Counsellor
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A subject that comes up often when couples go to counselling
is that of betrayal. It is not what was done but rather how it was done.
The definition most often used in the context of a relationship is: “To
be false or disloyal”. This undermines the trust and one partner is
left wondering if they know the other at all, because all they thought
they were has been proved wrong.
Often is it like a bereavement, the betrayed person is likely to be
very angry at what has happened, perhaps they will even try to deny it
happened. In fact it is often common on suspecting an affair to question
yourself and even feel guilty for thinking...
How an affair can be a catalyst for change
How an affair can be a catalyst for change
May 14th, 2012 by Patrick McCurry MBACP, UKCP Reg
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Affairs are generally regarded as extremely destructive to
any intimate relationship. They cause hurt, distress, anger and affect
trust in a major way.
Despite this, if the affair leads to a couple seeking therapy it can
actually force them to address deeper issues in the relationship.
When a couple arrives at their therapist’s office to talk about the
effects of an affair there will always be extremely strong emotions
expressed. The ‘victim’ partner may feel devastated, sad and very angry.
The partner who has had the affair may have more mixed feelings –
there may well be guilt about the hurt caused and, possibly, remorse.
But there may also...
Seeking counselling is not a weakness
Seeking counselling is not a weakness
May 15th, 2012 by Craig Draper Diploma in Counselling (MBACP)
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Through the counselling process clients may have to face some
really difficult challenges. It could be that in the introspection it
may be necessary to examine painful experiences or events. This can at
the time be a painful experience in itself.
The individual may have to examine parts of themselves that they may
know before counselling that they will have to explore or may not know
until faced with the prospect during counselling.
I believe it is the role of a counsellor to identify and explore
these difficult aspects and to support the client in finding answers and
resolution...
Music and well-being
Music and well-being
May 15th, 2012 by Peter Baikie MBACP BA (hons)
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How much does music affect us and our environment? We know
that certain pieces of music can make us feel sad, cheerful and on
occasion euphoric, but does music have any deeper therapeutic value?
Here are five research conclusions that not only confirm what you may
have already thought, but also throw up some surprising (and at times
amusing) findings.
1. Music relieves stress. The entire human energetic system is
extremely influenced by sounds, and neuroscientists have proved that
music slows down and equalises brain waves. The slower the brain waves,
the more relaxed and peaceful we fee...
Traumatic Bereavement
Traumatic Bereavement
May 17th, 2012 by Jackie Rogers Adv Dip Couns. (Serenity Counselling)
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It is always difficult if you lose a loved one and traumatic
sudden death can take longer to recover from. Before you can grieve you
may need to accept the way your loved one was taken.With
traumatic sudden bereavement, your loved one may have been taken by
someone else's actions e.g.road death or murder. How can someone
contemplate how a human can kill another human? You may experience split
and confusing loyalties, e.g in a case of domestic violence where a
family member has killed another. There may be delays in procedural
process e.g. releasing the body, the added upset of a post mortem,
waiting for a Coroner's Report, ongoing investigation,...
12 Step Treatment and Group Therapy for People with Addictions
12 Step Treatment and Group Therapy for People with Addictions
May 18th, 2012 by Special & Different Addiction Services
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The Group
Imagine a group of 12 recovering addicts/alcoholics, one peer
supporter and two facilitators, sitting in a circle. Most of the
clients have been in contact with the criminal justice system at some
point, with convictions ranging from drink driving to GBH and attempted
murder. Some have served time. About half have had a social services
caseworker at some time in their lives. More than half are divorced.
Most of the others are single. Some are also estranged from their
children.
These are people who have exhibited extreme anti-social behaviour and
seem unable to conform...
“All you need is love!”
“All you need is love!”
May 20th, 2012 by Claire Thomson BSc Msc (Human Communication) PG Dip (Counselling) MBACP
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I believe that being in loving relationships is what we need to be happy. The kind of happy that is a feeling of security and contentment that allows us to relax to be who we truly are.
But what is love and why does it make us feel happy?
Love is a caring bond that attaches us to our significant others at
many levels but mainly emotionally, physically and intellectually. We
human beings are social creatures and as such we are born ready to
engage and interact with those close to us who are caring for us.
Research now shows that these important first emotional experiences
produce the “feel good” hormones in...
It’s good to talk – but it’s also good to be alone
It’s good to talk – but it’s also good to be alone
May 21st, 2012 by Tina Radziszewicz BSc (Hons), MA, UKCP Registered Psychotherapist
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Intimate relationships, we’re told, are what life is all
about, what keeps us happy and healthy. And it’s true there’s no
substitute for the strength we draw and the pleasure we get from friends
and loved ones. But rushing from our jobs to pick up the kids and tend
to homes, friends and partners, it’s easy to neglect the most important
person in our lives – ourselves.
Time on our own for relaxation and reflection is vital for recharging
our batteries. Far from being selfish, if you’re rested and refreshed,
you can then give your best to the people in your life without feeling
resentful...
Counselling Men
Counselling Men
May 21st, 2012 by David Seddon MA (Couns), BA (Philosophy), MBACP - Individuals and Couples
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It is often commented that “men find it harder to come to
counselling than women.” As a generalisation, this may be true, but
generalisations are not useful because they tend to strip away at
individuality. It’s not helpful to stick labels on people, especially
if they are labels generated by an over-view of humanity which takes no
account of them as a person. Kierkegaard said that “once you label me,
you negate me”. I think that is profoundly true and yet psychology and
the health professions are continually diagnosing and labelling, and I
know that, to a point, counsellors have to operate within that system. ...
Mystery Murders, String Theory and Psychotherapy
Mystery Murders, String Theory and Psychotherapy
May 23rd, 2012 by Geoff Boutle MBACP (Accred) UKRC Reg
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The search for a single answer to complex issues is a
recurrent feature within the western world. From religion to physics and
to popular culture there is a sense that there must always be an answer
and that once found, that solution should provide a consistent and
universal explanation.
That approach is present wherever we look. Two millennia ago a rather
sombre monotheism replaced the squabbling family of classical Greek and
Roman gods. Darwinism and evolution provided an explanation as to the
process of development of life on earth and the discovery of penicillin
hailed the emergence of the first wonder drug to cure all....
