Selamat Datang
SALAM SEJAHTERA, Terima kasih kerana mengunjungi blog ini, Semoga apa yang tercatat dalam bolg ini akan dapat dimanfaatkan bersama demi membangun diri dalam melaksanakan tanggungjawab sebagai seorang insan..
Belajar dan Belajar
Hidup adalah proses belajar dan berjuang tanpa batas. Jatuh, berdiri lagi! Kalah, bangun lagi! Gagal, bangkit lagi! Pastikan SUKSES dalam genggaman Anda!
Menghargai Masa
Ambillah waktu untuk berfikir, itu adalah sumber kekuatan; ambillah waktu untuk bermain, itu adalah rahsia dari masa muda yang abadi, ambillah waktu untuk berdoa, itu adalah sumber ketengan, ambillah waktu untuk belajar, itu adalah sumber kebijaksanaan, ambillah waktu untuk mencintai dan dicintai, itu adalah hak istimewa yang diberikan Allah, ambillah waktu untuk bersahabat, itu adalah jalan menuju kebahagiaan, ambillah waktu untuk tertawa, itu adalah musik yang menggetarkan hati, ambillah waktu untuk memberi, itu dapat membuat hidup terasa beerti, ambillah waktu untuk bekerja, itu adalah nilai keberhasilan dan ambillah waktu untuk beramal, itu adalah kunci menuju syurga.
Rabu, 18 Julai 2012
Six Options for Building Healthy Self Esteem
Six Options for Building Healthy Self Esteem
This article was published on Wednesday, July 28th, 2010How to Communicate Assertively in Your Relationship
How to Communicate Assertively in Your Relationship
This article was published on Wednesday, August 4th, 2010Couples when they get married usually believe that they are on an equal footing and that marriage or their decision to live together gives them the permission to express their feelings and wants with an expectation that they will be respected, to state their views and opinions with an understanding that they will be listened to, and to say “no” openly without feeling guilty.
This does happen in many partnerships but there is no guarantee that it will in all, for sooner or later many couples will feel the discomfort of an imbalance in their relationship. This disparity will become noticeable when for instance one partner asks their partner to do something that they don’t want to do. It may be something simple as to go out with people they dislike, or more complicated as packing their bags and moving away from family and friends. In either case due to one partner’s inability to say “no” they submit to the request thus magnifying the inequality in the relationship.
At other times the gap in the relationship is noticeable when one party dominates the other in discussion and conversation and does not allow their partner a voice, or if they do, they minimise anything they have to say. This behaviour is tolerated as the aggrieved party does not want to ‘rock the boat’ and has developed a submissive communication style.
Solution-Focused Communication Skills Training
This article was published on Thursday, August 12th, 2010
Communication is the primary activity from which to build a healthy, enjoyable, and fulfilling intimate relationship. Most problems in relationships either develop from or are maintained through either a lack of communication or poor communication.
Because of this, relational issues can really only be resolved effectively through the use of appropriate communication skills. Interestingly, while couples who have open lines of communication usually find support in each other during the more challenging times of their relationship, most couples tend to communicate less when they are having problems in their relationship (Long & Young, 2007).
It is therefore important to encourage a more productive relationship in the couple through helping them communicate openly and directly with each other about their thoughts, feelings, conflicting issues, problems and concerns (Brown & Brown, 2002).
Isnin, 9 Julai 2012
Happiness and Positive Psychology
Happiness and Positive Psychology
This article was published on Thursday, September 8th, 2011Counsellors vs Workplace Harassment
This article was published on Thursday, July 28th, 2011
To effectively counsel a client who has been the target of workplace harassment it is helpful to have an understanding of relevant legislation. The following is an extract from the Queensland Government Department of Employment and Industrial Relations (it is recommended that counsellors from other states and territories check their relevant legislation).
The QLD Dept of Employment and Industrial Relations, defines workplace harassment as follows:
“Where a person is subjected to behaviour, other than sexual harassment that:
- is repeated, unwelcome and unsolicited
- the person considers the behaviour to be offensive, intimidating, humiliating or threatening
- a reasonable person would consider the behaviour to be offensive, humiliating, intimidating or threatening.”
Responding to Suicide Risk
This article was published on Wednesday, July 13th, 2011
In the last 45 years suicide rates have increased by 60% worldwide. Each day, approximately 210 Australians attempt to end their life and each year over 2500 will commit suicide. Suicide in Australia kills 8.5 times more people than homicides and 1.5 times more than motor vehicle accidents. Consequently, reducing suicide has become an important international health goal.
Behaviour and Solution Focused Couple Therapy
This article was published on Friday, July 15th, 2011
The practice of couple therapy has been encouraged to incorporate a more scientific model of practice and the use of research to inform the style of therapy most appropriate to use (Whiting & Crane, 2003). As a result, the discipline of couple and family counselling is moving to an evidence based focus. A number of theoretical frameworks have attempted to conceptualise dyadic relationships. Some of these theories have become foundations for the interventions that have become common in couple’s therapy today. Some of the models and theories include the strategic model, emotion focused therapy, solution focused therapy, behaviour theory and attachment theory.
In this article we overview two of these approaches.
Sudden Unemployment – Reactions and Emotions
Sudden Unemployment – Reactions and Emotions
This article was published on Thursday, October 15th, 2009
Unfortunately ‘organisational restructuring’ and ‘downsizing’ are common events in today’s workplace. For those individuals who suddenly lose their job, financial pressures can be overwhelming. Most support individuals receive focus on supporting the individual financially. However even under the best conditions where someone has ample savings and decent job prospects, suddenly losing a job is an emotional ride.The emotional stress which individuals and their families experience is the least thought about effect of unemployment. For many people work is a central component to their identity. When their employment status changes, so too can their self identity. This together with the financial strain can be a very stressful and negative time.
Career Counselling – A Field of Counselling Specialisation
This article was published on Thursday, October 15th, 2009
Specialisation comes in many forms, such as developing expertise in a favourite technique, working with a particular client group, or helping people with particular issues such as grief and loss, abuse, or relationship problems.
Domestic Violence – Understanding the Situation
This article was published on Thursday, October 15th, 2009
Around the world at least one woman in every three has been beaten, abused or coerced into sex during her lifetime. Most often the abuser is a member of her own family. The prevalence of domestic violence is difficult to determine for several reasons: it often goes unreported, and there is some ambiguity about what should be included in the definition of domestic violence.
The Australian Bureau of Statistics estimates that only 31% of victims of domestic violence and 20% of female victims of sexual assault report the incidence to the police. Living in a domestically violent household is not easy. Some believe that leaving a domestically violent household is even more difficult. But we all have a right to feel safe.
Symptoms, Causes and Effects of Loneliness
This article was published on Monday, July 9th, 2012
The lonely client may find it difficult or even impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact. Lonely clients often experience a subjective sense of inner emptiness combined with feelings of separation and/ or isolation from the world.
Sometimes people feel lonely because they believe they are different from others or they believe people are indifferent to them. Loneliness and being alone are not the same. For example, a client can be in a group with others and still feel lonely; whereas, they can be alone by themselves and not necessarily feel lonely (Aspel, 2001).
Suicide: Statistics, Characteristics and Myths
This article was published on Thursday, June 14th, 2012
Suicidal behaviour is any deliberate action that has potentially life-threatening consequences, such as taking a drug overdose or deliberately crashing a car (Dyer, 2006). Attempted suicide is a potentially self-injurious act committed with at least some intent to die as a result of the act. Individuals of all races, creeds, incomes, and educational levels die by suicide (Kalafat, J. & Underwood, M, n.d.; Clayton, J., n.d.).
Khamis, 5 Julai 2012
Building Effective Client Responses
Building Effective Client Responses
June 19th, 2012 by Keith Abrahams Dip.HG.PIn this way the therapist should seek to work in therapeutic alliance with the client to help them achieve a number of key things:
- Re-enforcement - helping the client to focus on their gifts strengthens and talents. This is akin to the positive psychology (focused on building on the best in people). It s from this place that clients can stand to see and value their capacity for positive change. The Human Givens has been described as the ‘heart of positive psychology’.
Ahad, 10 Jun 2012
The Hospital Experience - Control versus letting go
The Hospital Experience - Control versus letting go
March 14th, 2012 by Michele Joffe Dip Couns. MBACPIt is evident how much control we give to doctors who play an almost Godly role in the process. Without questioning or understanding fully what is required from us, we accept their diagnosis and follow their recommendations, however far fetched they might seem. From the moment we are admitted into their care, we feel safe, often letting go and blindly trust where we are being taken.
When exploring this further in relation to our work as counsellors it is important to be aware that from the moment a client steps into the counselling room for a session they often develop an immediate trust with the professional standing in front of them. They want advice on how they should lead their lives and what decisions they should make, how they should conduct their relationships and in doing so they are letting go and trusting.
Empathy is not Sympathy
Empathy is not Sympathy
March 14th, 2012 by Michele Joffe Dip Couns. MBACPMen and isolation
Men and isolation
March 27th, 2012 by Patrick McCurry MBACP, UKCP RegThe issue they come to therapy for may be something different, such as depression, anxiety, anger issues or relationship problems. But usually underlying these symptoms is a feeling of loneliness.
This male isolation is something that many women are unaware of. Women are (usually) brought up to be in relationship with others. How much of many women’s relatedness is innate and how much conditioned is debatable – it’s probably a mix of the two.
But the reality for many men is that, when a crisis occurs, they find themselves without support. The crisis may take the form of a relationship breakdown, work stress, redundancy, addiction or growing anger problems.
Whats is behind your mask?
Whats is behind your mask?
March 28th, 2012 by Graeme Orr MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg. Ind. CounsellorUnemployment Stress
Unemployment Stress
March 22nd, 2012 by Christine Elvin MBACP Coun's DipThe media do not help with unemployment issues as they seem to put unemployed people in the same bracket. Yes of course there are some people who are happy with their situation and have no intention of changing it, but for others it can be a depressing place to be.
Money worries can be demoralising and your self esteem will suffer if you allow it to get you down. The job applications can be daunting and time consuming for what seems like a waste of time, energy and effort when you don’t even get acknowledgement that your application arrived to the right department, let alone result in an interview.
Try to remember you’re not the only one in this situation and eventually things will change. If you apply for jobs daily and this is getting you down, maybe apply for them a couple of times a week so that you manage to take yourself away from the stress of application forms! Jobs normally having a deadline date so you won’t miss out.
What is Counselling?
What is Counselling?
March 20th, 2012 by Janet Greenwood UKRCP MBACP Accred Senior Counsellor/SupervisorEvery individual has an actualising tendency, which gives them the capacity to develop and reach their full potential.
Sometimes in our lives we lose sight of our direction and experience inner unrest or we may experience something traumatic that rocks our foundations.
Counselling can provide the right facilitative climate and framework for people to safely visit their own turmoil.
Counselling operates through conversation and discussion, it focusses on the conscious processes that each individual experiences, helping them to understand themselves better.
What is Empathy?
What is Empathy?
March 22nd, 2012 by Gerard Della Marta MBACP qualified counsellorIn counselling, empathy is an expression of the regard and respect the counsellor holds for the client whose experiences maybe quite different from that of the counsellor.
The client needs to feel "held", understood as well as respected. To hold a client therapeutically means the counsellor is capable to accept and support the client through any issues, concerns, problems she/he can brings.
Counselling: WHO ARE YOU?
Counselling: WHO ARE YOU?
March 28th, 2012 by Joanna Warwick: MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg Ind, Adv Dip, Couples Cert*who are they
*what will they be like
*will they tell me what to do
*will they judge me
What is hard to understand that a good relationship in counselling is based on the counsellor being many things to you, many people and exactly what you need at that moment.
The counsellor is a person and has a life of their own and thoughts of their own, but they are trained to put themselves to one side and be truly accepting of you as a person and offer you;
* Unconditional Positive Regard
* Empathy
* Congruence
* A safe confidential space
And we are bound by the same medical ethic of Do No Harm.
Ten Steps to Better Sleep
Ten Steps to Better Sleep
April 2nd, 2012 by David Seddon MA (Couns), BA (Philosophy), MBACP - Individuals and CouplesMany of the clients who come to me with a variety of issues also suffer from poor sleep. I therefore nearly always ask new clients how their sleep is in the very first session that we have together. If their sleep is poor, then even if they wish to outline a large range of worrying issues, at some point near the start of therapy, I ask them if we can spend the last 5 or 10 minutes of a session looking at that. It is often good to send them off with something practical that will allow them to go home on a positive note.
Good sleep is a vital element in our well being. It is about as important as good physical and mental health, supportive relationships and feeling that you have a purpose. Poor sleep can undermine anything else we do. Yet, it is surprising how few people think about how much poor sleep affects their mood and ability to cope with life and also how little time they devote to thinking of ways to improve it. It is also amazing how quickly sleep can improve with a little planning. I have yet to have a client who suffered bad sleep who wasn’t helped by some of the following ideas, which is not to say that their sleep is perfect after they come to see me or that I wave some sort of magic wand, but simply that things start to improve as we pay proper attention to improving them. In this respect, sleep is no different from many other issues.
Here are ten ways in which you could improve your sleep:
Men and therapy
Men and therapy
April 2nd, 2012 by Graeme Orr MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg. Ind. CounsellorIt would be wrong to say that men never seek help, but often they leave it till the last moment, till the situation is in crisis. They may end up with a broken marriage or a serious addiction problem or even homeless or attempting suicide. So what is it that makes men so reluctant to enter therapy and is there anything that can be done to make therapy more acceptable to the male psyche?
Lengthening your fuse. A simple guide to anger management
Lengthening your fuse. A simple guide to anger management
April 2nd, 2012 by Nick McCubbin MBACP MBPsSAristotle presents us with a difficult challenge in is quote above. Of course, we all become angry at one time or another, indeed anger is a part of being human and at times is an appropriate and functional response. However, there can be times when our tempers get the better of us, when our anger is ignited too quickly and our explosions can cause damage that we later regret.
How do I know if your the right counsellor for me?
How do I know if your the right counsellor for me?
April 2nd, 2012 by Beverley Hynes -BACP Accredited Counsellor UKRCPIn other words what methods they will use to help you. You can also decide if you want your counsellor to be accredited or not. This is where the counsellor has had to submit written work and proof that they reach a minimum criteria and standard set by a number of the professional bodies.
Then there is the counsellors experience to consider. How long have they been working in this field? Do they have any specialist knowledge training or experience of the topics and concerns I want to discuss? The profiles on the counsellors counselling directory entry often list and address these areas.
Dealing with your inner critic
Dealing with your inner critic
April 3rd, 2012 by Patrick McCurry MBACP, UKCP RegIt’s the voice that says:
‘Why did you make that mistake – you always get things wrong!’
‘Of course he’s not interested in you – you’ve put on too much weight.’
‘Why even bother applying for that job, they’ll be looking for someone much more interesting than you.’
When we’re not aware of this part of ourselves the constant self-criticism takes place unconsciously and we can end up feeling depressed and lacking energy without knowing why.
But once we have recognized our inner critic we have the chance of coming into relationship with it and not automatically letting it be so powerful.
Mind Yourself
Mind Yourself
April 3rd, 2012 by Christina Holland, MBACP (Accred) - Sapphire CounsellingThe latest developments in understanding how the mind works are being revealed by huge advances in neuroscientific research and are exciting and encouraging. In learning how the brain functions we can discover more about our reactions, and find different ways to respond in difficult situations that leave us feeling much better and more in control.
Simply put, our brains have 3 distinct areas with specific functions.
The brain stem, or the reptilian brain, is the most primitive part of our brain. It is formed early on (whilst still in the womb) and is mainly for survival. It functions all the time, even when you are asleep, keeping you breathing and regulating temperature among other things. It constantly assesses whether you are safe or not, and if it senses there is a threat, it reacts immediately.
Strategic Counselling
Strategic Counselling
April 11th, 2012 by Keith Abrahams Dip.HG.PThe therapist will help the client became aware, and begin to engage all of the clients resources in the interventions. The client may be helped to develop and acquire new resources, but more often than not, the client simply needs to recognise and engage their already existing, perhaps forgotten resources.
21 ways to lift your mood
April 12th, 2012 by Rachel Shattock Dawson BA (Hons), MA, MBACP
- Phone a friend – catch up and have a gossip. Or better still arrange to meet. Spending time with good friends is very good for you.
- Just dance! In the kitchen, in your bedroom…wherever. Put on some music and move to the rhythm.
- Reach out and touch someone – a hug or a held hand is calming and comforting.
- Do a favour – helping someone else, or supporting a good cause makes you feel good too.
- Eat (a little) chocolate – the N-acyclethanoloamines in chocolate stimulate the brain to release endorphins.
- Try therapy – increased self-awareness and insight help you to understand your feelings and make the right changes.
What is the difference between Jealousy and Envy?
What is the difference between Jealousy and Envy?
April 19th, 2012 by ANDREA HARRN MA MBACP (Accred) UKRCP, UKRF, DCHThe first difference to be aware of is that envy involves two people. One person being envious of another. Jealousy is about more than two people and involves the preservation of special friendships because of the involvement of others.
It is possible to experience both jealousy and envy at the same time. For example you could be jealous of the attention your boyfriend is getting from a female who you envy for her physical qualities.
The philosopher John Rawls distinguishes between jealousy and envy on the grounds that jealousy involves the wish to keep what one has and envy the wish to get what one does not have.
Why won't your therapist talk more about themselves?
Why won't your therapist talk more about themselves?
April 20th, 2012 by Patrick McCurry MBACP, UKCP RegFor many new clients the lack of self-disclosure by the therapist can be unsettling, as the relationship can feel very one way. The therapist gets to know the most personal details of the client’s life, while the client knows very little about the therapist’s.
While the lack of self-disclosure may feel frustrating, at times, for the client, there are several reasons for it.
These include:
- The therapist’s issues can dominate: the therapy is for the benefit of the client not the therapist, so a therapist talking a lot about their own lives could start to dominate the sessions and make it more about the therapist’s needs rather than the client’s.
Ways to Find Peace in Our Hectic Lives
Ways to Find Peace in Our Hectic Lives
April 23rd, 2012 by David Seddon MA (Couns), BA (Philosophy), MBACP - Individuals and Couples1. Reduce Expectations
Shakespeare said that “expectation was the root of all heartache“ and there is much in what Dennis Wholey said – “expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian.” If we expect others to behave in a certain way and do certain things, we are asking for trouble. People have their own lives and their own needs. It’s best to be grateful for any valuable time they give us and not become stuck in the expectation of more.
2. Be Mindful of Others (but not a Busy-Body)
It is a good thing to put others first and to help them as much as we can, but that does not include “knowing” what’s best for them. It is unlikely that you will be thanked for trying to make someone do something that they’d rather not. Excessive interference is ultimately good for neither of you. It’s better, instead, to concentrate on putting your own life in order and finding your own peace of mind.
Counselling and the Unsuccessful Dieter - How Dieting Can Help You To Regain Control of Your Eating
Counselling and the Unsuccessful Dieter - How Dieting Can Help You To Regain Control of Your Eating
April 24th, 2012 by Annie NewburyMost diets are based on strict rules, they have ‘points’ ‘bars’ ‘shakes’ and ‘sins’. Food is restricted, choices are few, rules must be followed and calorific intake is usually very low so if the diet is followed it’s not surprising that weight is lost.
Can Our Lives Find Meaning in the Modern World?
Can Our Lives Find Meaning in the Modern World?
May 3rd, 2012 by David Seddon MA (Couns), BA (Philosophy), MBACP - Individuals and CouplesWe are meaning seeking creatures that cannot truly be at peace unless we have something we consider as significant in our lives – something that gives us purpose and a sense of fulfilment. Finding a meaning to life is perhaps the ultimate question for any of us. One of the things that often happens in therapy is that clients begin to search for and find meaning. There is little in the therapy room that I enjoy more than helping them to find (or re-find) it – simply because I view it as so important. The philosopher Nietzsche and the psychologist Jung both made comments about this, the former saying that “he who has a why to live can bear almost any how,” and the latter that “meaning makes a great many things endurable – perhaps everything.”
7 secrets of good relationships
7 secrets of good relationships
April 24th, 2012 by Rachel Shattock Dawson BA (Hons), MA, MBACPThis is the biggest ‘secret’: Keep talking and keep listening. When couples stop talking to each other the relationship is all but over. It’s good if you can share thoughts and feelings honestly, and know that criticising, shouting or nagging damages self-esteem and ultimately the relationship. Good communicators are better at resolving conflict and are able to apologise when necessary.
2. Support
Good couples are like a team, joined at the hip and stronger facing the world together. You’ll both have career, money, life and death lows in your lifetime – be there for the downs and you’ll still be there together to share the ups.
3. Play
The old saying, ‘Couples who play together stay together’ holds true whether you’re 19 or 90. Whether you share a passion for sport, dancing, gardening or travel, the more you enjoy doing things together the more you’ll cement your relationship.
Parenting in the Teen Zone - Helping Young People Through Exams
Parenting in the Teen Zone - Helping Young People Through Exams
April 29th, 2012 by Katie Leatham M.Phil, MBACP AccreditedFear of failure is huge for young people on the brink of adulthood.
The links between sleep and depression
The links between sleep and depression
May 3rd, 2012 by David Waters MA, MBACP Accredited UKRCPWe might be waking up too early, have trouble getting to sleep in the first place or - frustratingly - find ourselves wide-awake in the middle of the night for no obvious reason at all. For those of us who suffer from depression and anxiety these symptoms are usually acute and felt as particularly troubling.
Are you familiar with SMART goals?
Are you familiar with SMART goals?
May 3rd, 2012 by Gerard Della Marta MBACP qualified counsellorCounselling. Helping you to take control.
Counselling. Helping you to take control.
May 5th, 2012 by Craig Draper Diploma in Counselling (MBACP)Counselling is an opportunity to be really heard and understood. It enables you to gain a greater understanding of issues/problems your experiencing. Enabling you to take control of your life.
Can Counselling Support the Resilience of Children and Young People to the Impact of Domestic Violen
Can Counselling Support the Resilience of Children and Young People to the Impact of Domestic Violen
May 7th, 2012Question: Can counselling support the resilience of vulnerable children and young people to the impact of adverse events, such as domestic violence and abuse, early in their lives?
In our society we recognise that there are many children who are exposed to adverse factors such as experiencing or witnessing domestic violence and abuse. This may impact on their ability to reach their full potential in life, or render them so scarred that they later become incapable of functioning as adults, without additional support. Yet some children, whom we refer to as resilient, appear to overcome difficulties experienced in early years and progress to develop meaningful relationships and participate in society as successful members of society.
Beating Addiction – The Human Givens way
May 8th, 2012 by Keith Abrahams Dip.HG.P
- Preoccupation with the substance – obtaining it, using it and recovering from it
- Unintentional over use – repeatedly taking more than was intended
- Tolerance – increasing amounts are needed for the same effect
- Withdrawal – certain levels are needed to function normally
- Relief substance use – to counteract withdrawal
- Persistent desire to control the abuse – repeated quitting relapse
- Impaired performance - in social and work situations
- Abandoning important events – social, work or recreational
- Continued use of the substance despite health problems associated with it.
The Power and Protection of our Intuition
The Power and Protection of our Intuition
May 9th, 2012 by Richard Gosling Assoc. UKAHPPA close friend relayed to me the distressing experiences she had after inviting a colleague to stay in her home whilst the man was attending a seminar, he had told her that the only available accommodation he had been offered was to sleep on somebody’s floor. She felt he deserved better and offered him her son’s bedroom. It resulted in a trail of destruction to her home and possessions followed by a litany of ingratitude and denial.
Infidelity – The Triangle of Betrayal: Will You still Love me tomorrow? (Part 1)
Infidelity – The Triangle of Betrayal: Will You still Love me tomorrow? (Part 1)
May 9th, 2012 by Claudia Anderson PG Dipl Psych, MBACP Qualified Careers CounsellorThe issues generated around infidelity are complex. In some cases a therapist identifies, the internal reasons, such as the effects of pregnancy, child development, menopause, addiction, illness etc. but there are also external causes such as loss of employment, death of a loved one, or financial restraints, that may influence a couple to remain in a partnership, long after the relationship is over and the affairs have begun.
Are you compelled to repeat behaviour you’d rather ditch?
Are you compelled to repeat behaviour you’d rather ditch?
May 10th, 2012 by Tina Radziszewicz BSc (Hons), MA, UKCP Registered PsychotherapistWhy should this be?
Sigmund Freud recognised this common human phenomenon, which he called the Repetition Compulsion. Freud believed that we re-enact old, painful traumas or relationships, the nature of which we’ve usually forgotten, in the present in an attempt to make them come out right this time around.
The original difficult situation was usually when were children, and were a passive participant – the event was happening to us and we had no control over those involved, usually significant others such as parents or siblings, or over the outcome. As adults, we are active – it’s us who get ourselves into the situations – but because the reasons for what we’re doing are often outside our conscious awareness, we feel at the mercy of circumstances.
MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL… Or how to survive the influences of your narcissistic mother
MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL… Or how to survive the influences of your narcissistic mother
May 11th, 2012 by Carmen Von Haenisch BA (Hons) Counselling , MBACP (Accred), SupervisorBetrayal - the death of a relationship?
Betrayal - the death of a relationship?
May 14th, 2012 by Graeme Orr MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg. Ind. CounsellorOften is it like a bereavement, the betrayed person is likely to be very angry at what has happened, perhaps they will even try to deny it happened. In fact it is often common on suspecting an affair to question yourself and even feel guilty for thinking that of your partner without evidence. The betrayed partner may try to understand why this has happened to them, what have they done to deserve this? They will try to balance out how or if they can go on with the relationship – do they want to work at it or do they have to walk away. Ultimately there will be a way to cope with the betrayal, yet it can be a difficult road to walk.
How an affair can be a catalyst for change
How an affair can be a catalyst for change
May 14th, 2012 by Patrick McCurry MBACP, UKCP RegDespite this, if the affair leads to a couple seeking therapy it can actually force them to address deeper issues in the relationship.
When a couple arrives at their therapist’s office to talk about the effects of an affair there will always be extremely strong emotions expressed. The ‘victim’ partner may feel devastated, sad and very angry.
The partner who has had the affair may have more mixed feelings – there may well be guilt about the hurt caused and, possibly, remorse. But there may also be confusion about why he or she was so strongly attracted to someone outside the relationship.
Seeking counselling is not a weakness
Seeking counselling is not a weakness
May 15th, 2012 by Craig Draper Diploma in Counselling (MBACP)The individual may have to examine parts of themselves that they may know before counselling that they will have to explore or may not know until faced with the prospect during counselling.
I believe it is the role of a counsellor to identify and explore these difficult aspects and to support the client in finding answers and resolutions.
Music and well-being
Music and well-being
May 15th, 2012 by Peter Baikie MBACP BA (hons)1. Music relieves stress. The entire human energetic system is extremely influenced by sounds, and neuroscientists have proved that music slows down and equalises brain waves. The slower the brain waves, the more relaxed and peaceful we feel.
Traumatic Bereavement
Traumatic Bereavement
May 17th, 2012 by Jackie Rogers Adv Dip Couns. (Serenity Counselling)With traumatic sudden bereavement, your loved one may have been taken by someone else's actions e.g.road death or murder. How can someone contemplate how a human can kill another human? You may experience split and confusing loyalties, e.g in a case of domestic violence where a family member has killed another. There may be delays in procedural process e.g. releasing the body, the added upset of a post mortem, waiting for a Coroner's Report, ongoing investigation, court hearings, trials etc.
12 Step Treatment and Group Therapy for People with Addictions
12 Step Treatment and Group Therapy for People with Addictions
May 18th, 2012 by Special & Different Addiction ServicesImagine a group of 12 recovering addicts/alcoholics, one peer supporter and two facilitators, sitting in a circle. Most of the clients have been in contact with the criminal justice system at some point, with convictions ranging from drink driving to GBH and attempted murder. Some have served time. About half have had a social services caseworker at some time in their lives. More than half are divorced. Most of the others are single. Some are also estranged from their children.
These are people who have exhibited extreme anti-social behaviour and seem unable to conform to the norms of society. Their self-destructive behaviours, their constant failure to face their responsibilities and the waste of their gifts and talents frustrate their loved ones. They have between them a number of failed suicide attempts, and half of them have another mental disorder as well as addiction. Professionals agree that as a client group, addicts/alcoholics are the least likely to respond to their advice, they are unpredictable, unreliable and uncooperative. A common description of the individuals in this group by people who know them is that they are ‘lost souls’.
“All you need is love!”
“All you need is love!”
May 20th, 2012 by Claire Thomson BSc Msc (Human Communication) PG Dip (Counselling) MBACPBut what is love and why does it make us feel happy?
Love is a caring bond that attaches us to our significant others at many levels but mainly emotionally, physically and intellectually. We human beings are social creatures and as such we are born ready to engage and interact with those close to us who are caring for us. Research now shows that these important first emotional experiences produce the “feel good” hormones in our bodies. So the sense of happiness is not just an idea or thought but a physical felt sense experienced within.
As adults when we are happily in relationship with our partners we are constantly experiencing good bonding moments through physical affection, caring acts, humour and so on and this promotes the feeling good both in our minds and hearts but in our bodies too.
So it seems so simple this idea of love being all we need and in some ways it is. However, for many of us this is not the case.
It’s good to talk – but it’s also good to be alone
May 21st, 2012 by Tina Radziszewicz BSc (Hons), MA, UKCP Registered Psychotherapist
Time on our own for relaxation and reflection is vital for recharging our batteries. Far from being selfish, if you’re rested and refreshed, you can then give your best to the people in your life without feeling resentful or drained by them. Research shows that insufficient quiet time alone is a significant cause of stress as well as slowing down recovery from illnesses and emotional crises such as bereavement and divorce.
Counselling Men
Counselling Men
May 21st, 2012 by David Seddon MA (Couns), BA (Philosophy), MBACP - Individuals and CouplesMystery Murders, String Theory and Psychotherapy
Mystery Murders, String Theory and Psychotherapy
May 23rd, 2012 by Geoff Boutle MBACP (Accred) UKRC RegThat approach is present wherever we look. Two millennia ago a rather sombre monotheism replaced the squabbling family of classical Greek and Roman gods. Darwinism and evolution provided an explanation as to the process of development of life on earth and the discovery of penicillin hailed the emergence of the first wonder drug to cure all. Marx predicted the victor in the coming class war and even the more recent decision to introduce penalty kicks at the end of a drawn final, has now ensured that there is a definitive resolution to any football competition. Wherever we look there always has to be an answer.